#like he’s technically gen-z also which is wild

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

i just realized sydney adamu is like, ian gallagher’s age. how the fuck.

[mundyonmymind]

mercs but they’re teachers woo!

scout: pe teacher :)!! challenges every student to a running race and nobody has beat him yet (otherwise i think he’d quit). he also knows a lot about anatomy, and uses his art knowledge to draw handy diagrams of muscles and tendons. super loud though will not stop using his whistle scout will you PLEASE for ONE MINUTE

soldier: THE most questionable history teacher. people think this guys just incredibly sarcastic and goes off on weird tangents about sun tzu and zoos but somehow actual history seeps in through the wall of insanity. beloved by gen z students for his cracked attitude, they’ve got the best bits going on 

pyro: drama teacher! always aids in crafting and painting the scenery, aiding in feedback and letting the drama kids go wild!!! their plays are legendary spectacles, and other students (and teachers) have no idea how they pull it off. real fire is used. often. they often substitute for art and music class too

demo: obligatory chemistry teacher, but! he’s also a fantastic english teacher. he’d encourage students to create wild stories and poems featuring cryptids and creatures of the night. his chemistry lessons are also infamous for the sheer explosion count. he makes it his one kabLOOM every week a studious goal

heavy: he’d be the chillest art teacher ever. create something new. learn plenty of art history and culture. try out the oil paints, try out the acrylics. just no screaming and you’re set!

engie: part time maths teachers, part time music teacher :) his lessons are known for his perfect balance between incomprehensible maths jargon and clear organised structure. and his music lessons are plain therapeutic :)

medic: yes he teaches biology yes only a select few can bear through the intense dissection classes yes he laughs birds fly out of concerning places in the laboratory. what about it.

sniper: ok so im not sure if schools outside of hungary have a technical lesson, but its essentially like. practical crafts - yeah thats sniper alright. he’d go ham w the woodcarving and sewing and all yeahh bring out the saws, young secondary students, im sure it’ll go well! (it does. he’s very strict and safe with everything, yknow. professional)

spy: geography teacher, but like keeps going off-syllabus and only talking about french history and culture. which is fine! except exams sometimes go off the rails as students are asked about topics mr. spy has never even mentioned - but it’s alright through spy’s absoloute snobbery they pull through in the end :)

[s1i9d]

The Owl House, Season 2 Speculation

New Year, New Speculations! In the middle of the season, Owl House Season 2 is still over the horizon, and many fans (myself included) are clamouring for even the slightest bit of info. Whether its episode titles, how many episodes, a release date, etc. Many are excited for the prospect of Season 2, confirmed two months ahead of the series’ premiere!

Season 1 left many things unresolved, yet still found itself to be satisfying in some aspects. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does leave excitement for more episodes. This post will talk abou three main areas: character development and their anticipated arcs, the main plot introduced, and smaller side plots incorporated in Season 1.

I’m more of a casual Owl House fan, but I enjoy speculating about what is to come. So if I missed anything, let me know!

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SEASON ONE OF “THE OWL HOUSE”

Let’s begin, shall we?

Character Development and Anticipated Arcs

Luz and Amity – Obviously one of the most exciting and anticipated arcs in a very long time, since all main character queer relationships canonically happen towards the end of the series, either as a result of censorship or queerbaiting. One good and the other not as much.) From their rough first meeting at Hexside all the way to playing on the same Grudgby team, we’ve seen their relationship naturally bloom in the first season. There’s definitely gonna be tensions with the Blight family, but that falls more under plot.

Eda and Lilith – Nothing says interpersonal drama more than a complicated sibling relationship. At the end of Season 1, Lilith shares the curse with Eda after helping them escape Belos’ imprisonment. I don’t believe that they will have a happy go-lucky relationship from the start of Season 2, but I do believe that they are on the path to bettering themselves and each other. Possibly an introduction of their parents (as introduced at the end of “Covention”) but perhaps not.

Willow & Gus – Perhaps one of the more frustrating parts of The Owl House personally. Willow and Gus have very little character development for themselves in Season 1. Other episodes that focus on them were mainly narrative devices to further develop other characters. e.g. 115 - “Understanding Willow” although being about Willow, was mainly a means to develop Amity, Luz and introduce the Blight Family drama, therefore developing Amity’s arc further rather than develop Willow herself. I think it is fine for a first season to prioritise which characters to show, and which to set up for later on. My hopes for Season 2 is that they will have their own development outside of being used to further other forefront characters. 

Main Plots Introduced

Emperor Belos

The Magic of Belos

The Refueling – In 118 - “Agony of a Witch”, when Lilith enters Belos’ chambers for the first time, we see him ragged and tiredly hunched over his throne gasping for air. To rejuvenate himself, he takes what seems to be a Palisman broken from their staff and cuts it open, revealing a green goo-like energy. He drips it into his eyes, supposedly giving him power.

Witch’s Wool Cape – The Witch’s Wool Cape is the cape that Eda made for Luz in 118 - “Agony of a Witch” and Luz is seen wearing it in 119 - “Young Blood, Old Souls”. What remains interesting about this is what Eda specifically says about it (”It repels powerful spells. Every Witch worth their salt has a cloak like this!”) and how Belos is able to use powerful magic against Luz to slam her into the wall during their fight sequence. Does this mean Belos is using a different type of magic? Or is his magic far more powerful than the Witch’s Wool can withstand?

The Titan of the Boiling Isles & Belos’ Propaganda – The Titan is technically canon and true. In Belos’ throne room, we see his throne just under a very large beating heart. However, it’s not clear if Belos in actuality is able to speak to the Titan, or if he’s trying to maintain order and rule.

The Spy of Belos – This is more of a minor plot introduced at the very end of 119 - “Young Blood, Old Souls”, but Belos speaks to Kikimora and shows a spy wearing a Palace guard uniform and a mask that somewhat resembles Hooty.

The Portal to the Human World – This remains one of the greater mysteries of Belos, as the finale shows him to want access to the human world, yet the show does not say why. Perhaps his goal is to somehow liberate the world by the actual word of the Titan, or he wants to take over the human world under the disguise of being able to speak to the Titan. Either way, it leads to the Human World being taken over by Belos.

Hexside Academy & The Mono-Coven System – The addition of Luz is interesting, as she and the other previous members of the Detention track all have multi-coven learning. Previous to that, Eda was the only real exception who was not a part of a coven and using “Wild Magic”. It leaves the question if Belos’ tolerance for a blatant disregard for his system in Hexside will be brought to light, and how he may try to enforce his rule.

Luz Noceda

The Portal & Returning Home – The only real way for Luz to return home is through Belos’ makeshift portal, since she destroyed Eda’s original portal to protect the human world from Belos.

Letters to Luz’s Mom – A big mystery is who is sending Luz’s mom the letters pretending to be her from Boring Camp in “Enchanting Grom Fright”? Theories have been swirling around of it being Eda, Emperor Belos or even a new representative in the human world with the ability to carry out Belos’ plans. The question now is if the sender is actually from the Boiling Isles, how did they send the messages? If using the portal, only Eda has the ability. Belos has lost actual access to the portal, so he isn’t a contender. The mystery looms over us.

Learning Magic & Connecting to the Boiling Isles – As of now, Luz knows four spells: Light, Ice, Plant, and Fire. She has been able to connect with the Island to use magic in her paper method, and the finale showed it was the connection to and magic of the Boiling Isles which allowed her to use the magic. There are a number of Covens and spells she has yet to learn, which also leads with her own journey to self-confidence and found family. 

Eda, Lilith & The Curse

The Curse – By the end, the curse is worsened. If not for Lilith sharing the curse with Eda, the curse would have taken over Eda and she would have been lost forever. But now with the elixir no longer working halfway through the season, they must find another way to undo the magic binding them to this transformation. 

Luz’s Paper Method of Magic – Eda and Lilith are unable to do any more typical magic using their biological functions, but Luz offers to teach them her Paper technique of using magic. Eda tries and it shows that she is able to use the Light spell at the least.

Hooty - I stan Hooty! There I said it! But this is more than just me irrationally stanning the best biord house, there’s actual interesting potential in the mythology behind Hooty. First of al,l as the titular character of “The Owl House” we know nothing about how he came into existence. We don’t know his past with Eda, nor how Eda, King and him came together. Potentially after Eda was cast as an outsider, but nothing specific yet.

The Blight Family

Amity (Personal Journey) – Amity has shown to have struggled with her family, more specifically limitation by her parents and an extent of harassment by her siblings. This would also factor in several plots, such as: Belos and the mono-Coven system, Luz and her relationship with Amity, Willow and Amity, Basha, and several other related threads. I believe that the Blight Family will appear more plot related than just simply being character focused for Amity alone.

Side Plots

These are the mini plots introduced and have yet to be touched upon again.

King’s Species of the Demons –  In 104 “The Intruder” where we first learn of Eda’s curse, King speaks of his species: a group of which we haven’t seen yet. He says their weaknesses are purified water and passive-aggressive comments. We haven’t seen any other characters quite like King, so that’s something to look forward to.

The Magical Capabilities of Luz, Willow and Gus – In 106 “Hooty’s Moving Hassle” where Luz, Willow and Gus animate the Owl House with chicken legs, Eda says at the end “...[to animate a whole house.] That would take some powerful magic.” Meanwhile showing Amity and Basha’s five-person friend group unable to conjure a doll. If Amity is shown to be an exceptionally powerful witch unable to do a conjuring spell, it leaves a question of how powerful the trio actually is...

Azura Book Club – Lumity fans know the Azura book club, a.k.a Gen-Z’s way of figuring out if people are gay. (I’m half joking here.) But the Azura Book Club was mentioned last in 112 “Adventures in the Elements” and not touched upon again. 

Mattholomule, Gus and the Human Appreciation Society (H.A.S) - This isn’t that important, but Gus has been known for being very into human mythology and lore. Mattholomule is the Leader of H.A.S, but it still remains the question if Gus is still a part of it and trying to combat Mattholomule’s ridiculous human mythos to be liked.

The Palisman – There’s quite a bit surrounding this one so it forms into two topics.

The Bat Queen – A very interesting character appearing only twice (”Lost in Language”, and “Escape of the Palisman”) before never being mentioned again for the whole season. The Bat Queen has her children, as well as the protection of the abandoned Palisman by irresponsible Witches. Luz also leaves an open-ended offer to help the Bat Queen search for her original Owner. Perhaps the Titan was the Bat Queen’s original owner, or possibly a giant before the reign of Emperor Belos since she did mention it had been far too long to remember.

Palisman of the Main Cast – With the introduction of the Palisman, it leaves the question of when Luz, Willow, Amity, and Gus will get their own Palisman and which animal they would have. Luz has been shown to have the ability to use non-paper magic when in possession of a Palisman (”Young Blood, Old Souls”), so it could prove an interesting loophole for Luz to be flexible with the methods of magic she uses.

That concludes the speculation! As these are my own thoughts and opinions, I’d love to hear your speculations! Thank you for reading!

[clarkispotamia]

I just wanted to share my sims game because it’s been a wild ride so far: I started with a randomized sim named Sage Spice who was a republican vlogger trying to get with Eric Trump. She also has a cat named Reginald who wears a purple sweater and bow tie. She’s super messy and her goal was to have lots of relationships so she basically gets with anyone and plays it off as a bit for her vlog/live streams. Anyway she has these neighbors in the city who are a bunch of frat boys and also Don Jr and Eric are there so she’s technically dating all of them with Eric as her hashtag goals. BUT she gets pregnant with Don Jrs kid and obvs does not believe in abortion so she has her first child: Influencer Spice. After she has Influencer, she and Eric move in together in the Hollywood town idk what sims call it because she’s now famous and trying to make it big. One of her make up tutorials (called “contour to own libs”) gets nominated for an award and wins lmao. She’s trying and failing to conceive with Eric and proposes to him at a party where she is twerking for money(very romantic). They get married in a night club in windenberg like 3 days later where she bangs her neighbor after eating cake and then she murdered someone and pinned it on Influencer who is a toddler. So she gets married and successfully murders and is now pregnant with her neighbors kid and ends up having twins that we name Anti Christ and Angel. Eric doesn’t really like us much rn because he’s jealous of all the dick Sage is getting and also she did murder a man at her wedding and pin it on the toddler. So things are not working out and Sage is trying to trap Eric with a baby which also ain’t working so they move to a new town and I spent like 4 hours building a Dutch colonial which is super fuckin cute and they get a butler and Reginald is fucking attacking all the neighbors it’s great. They go on vacation to Sulani and things are looking up... until the butler stops doing his fucking job, we fire him, and then he ends up rehired. So obviously Sage murders him with a dirty diaper bc he won’t change Angel. Eric really wasn’t into it and he won’t bang Sage anymore so when we get home from vacation she divorces his ass. Sage struggles for awhile to make ends meet but Influencer and the twins all age up into children and things start to turn around for us... until Reginald runs away. Everyone is really upset and Sage decides to cope with this loss by sexing up all the frat boys back in the city. Lo and behold, she’s pregnant again but we don’t know who daddy is. Things continue, Sage gives birth to a son: Blazer Flesh. He becomes our golden child and we quickly find out a guy named Mason is the dad and he sends Blazer Fresh a white cat toy that looks like Reginald so we know he is a good guy. Literally the next day, he shows up just as Reginald comes home!!! He brought us back Reginald!!! So Sage obvs sucks his dick and marries him in the kitchen and we have another kid with him named Chadwick and everyone is fucking thriving rn. Influencer is a gender fluid teen who is fucking SLAYING and is a master painter and a moody ho we stan. Angel and Anti Christ just aged up and Angel has big tiddie goth gf vibes and Anti Christ is a jock but like a gen z jock we love his dumb himbo ass.

[brooklynislandgirl]

It Gets You Coming and Going: Of all moral dilemmas, what's one that truly stumps you and why? {ginglymostoma cirratum}

Questionable Quotes || Accepting The question is posed in so very Anakin a way that it almost hurts for simply existing. There’s layers built up between the syllables that only someone who knows him well enough can pick out, and only the very rare amongst them that can tell you where they came from. The deepest is the bedrock of his anxiety, that deep down he believes himself so unworthy that it’s compressed down into the core of him and become the basic foundation of the rest of his personality. Closer to the surface is the silt of fear that he’s said the wrong thing and has reached the tether of her seemingly infinite patience with him. That she’s finally going to snap and savage him with tooth and claw, glutting on the softness of his emotional state until all that is left is something that once resembled the bones of his resolve. And she knows she’s mixing metaphors here but that’s how she conceptualises the things about Anakin she can’t pin to a board and press under glass. Not that she would ever do that, she finds it horrifying and cruel, especially when not that proverbially long ago collectors would do that to living specimens, murdering them with chloroform. Ether. She keeps from curling her lip.

And maybe for those few precious seconds when she can feel his gaze sliding off her and back to the edge of the water, so extremely uncomfortable in his own skin, she empathises with him. Finds it easier to make this about wanting to view himself through the prismatic lens he’s made of her, where every fractured splinter can be compared to the raw emptiness that sometimes fills his own mind and pushes everything out of the way. So he can lose himself in his perceptions ~and she can tell, so easily, when he is sinking in the stream of Time, which is almost always~ and escape for just a little while from the weight of everything resting on too fragile shoulders.

It’s entirely possible, too, and dangerously so that she interprets a good many of their conversations this way, focuses the spotlight on Anakin rather than herself because the idea of introspection makes her a little queasy. That she herself hides behind all the preconceived notions that people have of her that she twists and bends herself to fit into because without them she would be as shapeless as the infinite void of the darkness that lingers at the very edge of the Horizon in the deepest umbral reaches.

And of course she would also never admit to maybe spending too much time dwelling on the reasons why the question wounds her as a means of putting emotional distance and actual thought far out of the way ~out of sight, out of mine. Because it is not the easiest thing to answer. In fact she isn’t sure there’s one that would capture intent as much as interpretation.

The problem with morality as it would be defined by most people is that it is an arbitrary system. An socio-artificial construct that puts a distinction between right and wrong, or good and bad behaviour. And much like consensual reality, the guidelines of such behaviour are dictated by people. And all people are fallible. Even the Holy Father, though he’s not supposed to be.

There are other factors to consider as well. Does he mean specifically as the question relates to Sleepers? Does he mean as it relates to the Awakened as they, master and apprentice, are? If they are speaking about the masses, then are there certain cultural borders they’re straying across? What is good for one group of society is clearly not very often understood by others and so what might be wrong or atrocious in belief may have mitigating circumstances if viewed outside of one’s own group. Then of course there’s the difference between an individual's moral dilemmas and ethical ones, which are similar but still vastly different. Not unlike the Traditions versus the Technocratic Union. And this is obviously not what Anakin means because he’s never seen the heated debates that often took a twist at the dinner table between herself and her brothers.

She wants to tell him, that of course, there’s all of these factors to be taken into consideration. Wants to ask him what he means ~specifically~ in regards to whose morals are being questioned and she knows too that by doing so she will somehow manage to trample his self-worth because he’ll judge himself as not having spoken clearly enough, slowly or carefully enough. That he did not adequately set up the scenario and thus given her something incomplete to work with. There will come a stunning display of beautiful if heartbreaking physical manifestations of that internal grief and she might actually expire from the grief of it all. And she isn’t being nasty about it, she isn’t mocking him in that breath of silence as she considers all of this.  It is something that she’s come to experience in the almost year that they have spent bound together by practice and...funnily enough...tradition. And she likes to think she knows Anakin this well by now, that however hard he tries to hide it, she will see.

She reaches into the bucket beside her and takes a hold of another chunk of meat and tosses it out across the murky water. It lands with a specific and yet sad little plop before disappearing below the surface. She watches the way his cigarette smoke rises up to wreathe around his curls a little wild tousled today. It’s a little ironic that she could see him as a dragon, and maybe there’s some Mokolé blood in his family tree, as much as there is shark in hers. But he’s still reserved enough that he doesn’t stick his converse down over the side of the decrepit little dock they’re on. To be fair, his legs are far longer, far too close to the dark, algae choked surface. He’s never had his calf nearly torn right off the bone and probably doesn’t need that experience. Not with his hand in the state it’s in, the way cold and weariness make his bones and joints ache with nothing to compensate for it.

And that’s the point where she realises that now she’s just stalling, letting herself drift along the paths of thought, further and further away from the question asked. So she breathes out a sigh and allows a soft curve settle to her lips that is neither exactly a smile or even a smaller grin. It’s something along the lines of patience made manifest, her natural inclination toward indulging Anakin, and it’s also...tired. The kind of thing that appears when she’s worked herself to the bone and hasn’t slept for days but continues to push herself until she’s at the exact point of inevitable collapse. And how often does she do that more and more these days. Doesn’t even try to make it to her room when he’s just as comfortable as his bed and far warmer even if it’s a slightly unhealthy symptom of his body’s attempt to keep his extremities in life-giving blood. She leans back, wiggling her toes out in front of her, though her legs are still covered by the broom-skirt she’s wearing, arms bracing herself from behind, slick and red, sure to leave prints she’ll have to clean up before they leave.  “I don’ t’ink dis really a fair question, Anakin. I mean... dere’s factors. A precise synt’esis would define culture as a body of ideas; norms, rules, standards, values, an’ beliefs. So dat different cultures would derefore have different moral an’ et’ical impact. An’ mebbe even between one generation an’ anoddah, like dem boomers an’ millennials. I mean, you an’ me are kinda li’dat too, as technically I’m a millennial an’ you’re Gen Z. Between all people dere’s dis enforced, learned social norm dat are symbolically an’ practically reinforced an’ referenced in displays dat signal adherence to any specific system. Now, I know ya no talk story about all kine people, ya specifically aks me ‘bout my own issue an’ I guess...” She trails off trying to regather herself. When she speaks again she does that thing she does when she thinks something is important enough to give him the best chance of understanding her, but that slows her speech, gives it a brittle edge.

“Even as hapa ~being half Hawai’ian~ my mother taught me about kuleana. Loosely translated it means “responsibility”. It’s dis concept of reciprocal relationships between the person who is responsible, an’ the things or persons they are responsible for. As Hawai’ians, we have a kuleana to our ‘aina, our land. To care for it and to respect it, and in return... the land has the kuleana to feed, shelter and clothe us. Through that relationship we maintain balance within society and with the natural environment. But you look at the world and everything is for sale, raped by greed and the need to consume. To conform. This... this is a sign of what my uncle’s people call the Apocalypse, but not like in disaster movies. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll tell you all about that.

“Another concept is...Pono. There’s no real translation for it, it’s a concept that incorporates many things. But many people use it to imply righteousness, but not like the way it’s used in society today. For us, anyway, it’s a very strong cultural and spiritual concept for a state of harmony and balance. So you can see how they relate? By accepting your kuleana and making sure you act on them in the right way, you are living pono. Living pono means to make a conscious decision to do the right thing in terms of self, others, and the environment. And we make no distinction between human and animal or plant, in that way.” She slants that hazel gaze toward him via one eye slitted open to make sure he’s following along.  “And I don’t mean that cutting down a tree is the same as say murder. But in a way, it is. You are killing something that was alive. You are taking its mana. If you do it with proper thanks and reverence, if you ensure that you are doing it sustainably, to feed yourself or build a shelter for your family, then you’re behaving within your kuleana. But clear-cutting an entire rain-forest so you can build a luxury golf-course and resort, displacing thousands and thousands of indigenous wild life and polluting the waters and destroying layers and layers of earth, not to mention the risk of exposing entire tribes of people who have no natural resistance to what are common, immunised illnesses? That is no different than slaughtering those very same lives in a far more expedient way. And I don’t know if you think I’m crazy, or if I am over-simplifying the tragedy that we as an entire world of people are creating and contributing to but you can see...the earth herself is restless. She is angry. And those throes of agony ~the global warming, the spirits crying out, the violence and disease...they are all symptoms of that anger, because people as a whole have lost their way. They trust too much in technology and in coping mechanisms that only breed more trouble...”

She’s momentarily lost in the weeds, but there’s no denying the passion in her voice as it trembles with pure and unbridled rage at society’s ills. And not just the ones that have landed on the Sleepers whom they are, in their own ways, charged with protecting, but the ones amongst their own kind and those of the others. “So I suppose, the dilemma I just cannot begin to understand is...with so much happening, and the world around us vanishing with every breath...why are we unable to reach an understanding. Why do we have to fight this war about whose mana is bigger, is better than someone else’s. And not just the Traditions ourselves. Our infighting is bad but we can typically talk things out. I specifically mean this war with the Technocrats. Their science isn’t doing much to improve lives these days and more and more people are looking for alternatives, for the Old Ways. Why not work with us instead of trying to kill or imprison us? Or why can’t some of us... Verbena and Dreamspeakers... some of you Euthanatos- why can’t we make a pact with the Wolfkin. Or the last of the lizard kings-” She glances askance at him a second time in a very playful and knowing fashion. Which is disturbing considering the nature of the remains in the ice chest she was tossing into the water just moments ago. “It isn’t like some of us hasn’t been busy keeping their kin fed. So I think just like the Traditions coming together, or the Technocrats forming their union, maybe it’s time we put political and spiritual beliefs to the side and just work together for the things we want. We’re all really trying to fight the same enemy, and I promise it isn’t you, and it isn’t me and it isn’t Bil..it isn’t any one person. There is evil out there. Real, terrifying evil. Take this guy. What he did to those kids...He was a disease. And like the healer I am and like...like the man you will some day become, we did what was right, for everyone.” Beth shudders then shakes her head.  “I don’t even know how to answer your question, or if I did. All I can say is...there’s no part of me that has any shame for the way I live my life, and therefore there’s no moral dilemma. But if one comes up, I promise you’ll be the first line of defense for my understanding and sanity.”

[creion]

gen z/millennial fma headcanons courtesy of me.

greed:

greed is friends with everyone in this au. everyone. he knows everyone.

no one knows greeds real name. he’s just greed. in this au thomas halbert doesnt have the url greed. greed does. hes not even that greedy and he most definitely blocks everyone who calls him out on it.

he’s mysterious in general. his youtube channel goes between him doing backflips off of things he shouldnt be doing back flips off of to a podcast about [some obscure political thing]? who is he?

greeds probably low key homeless like idk in an au where hes human i can imagine him showing up at one of his friends houses every night with like his one backpack of belongings like “hey im sleeping on ur couch and using ur shower” and no one really questions him because hes charming enough to get away with it yknow

except edward questions him. “ling isnt even here. wyd.” “please. if i dont shower i might die.” “fucking fine I GUESS”

greeds favorite place to go is ed and lings apartment because theyre nice and ling always feeds him and also eds funny and greed appreciates humor

this is just a general greed headcanon but god is he poly :3c i can and will fight about this.

ling:

GAY! TANA! MONGEAU! hes wild and a lot of people hate him even though hes really a giant sweetie. he’s best friends with greed and sometimes ling goes on greeds podcast so they can talk about their exercise regimen

hes dating edward of course. theres not more to this other than theyre dating and they love each other and Would kill for each other. also a lot of people probably dont think they have a deep relationship but im telling you. theyre star crossed lovers. its total romcom bullshit.

ling probably gets paid to go to parties. like thats his job and he makes good money doing it even though he has a masters in psychology. he just. goes to parties. pays off his student loans.

he does a lot of prank videos on youtube. think tgfbro but american and less edgy.

ling probably also models on occasion. like hes pretty enough that he just does it.

he shaves his head at some point or like maybe gets an undercut and no one can look at him for a month because its just weird. lings hair is like his identity.

he gets up to a lot of hijinks with greed. theyre probably a little gay together. edward doesnt care because its 2018 time 2 start normalizing polyamory ok.

ling spends actual money on new clothes for greed but the man always wears the same two outfits and although ling rarely gets angry this gets him a little riled

edward:

his youtube channel is just a mess kind of like greeds except with him its unintentional he just... does what he wants. theres videos of him showing off his physical prowess. like hes small but he WILL kick your fuckin ass. hes probably a black belt and is the physical embodiment of the navy seals rant.

sometimes he does vsauce style videos on youtube and everyone hates when he does it because hes memelord 69 but at the same time hes wicked smart

hes a physicist in this world and im serious it throws anyone who meets him for a loop.

ed gets asked a lot how roy is his dad if hes only 12 years older than him. eds answers are either “he found me and my brother as infants and has mothered us since” or “idk man”

ed accidentally starts a meme. he posts a bunch of pictures of ling either sleeping or passed out and idk the specifics of the meme but he starts a meme and it pains him. he consumes he does not create.

ed likes greed but he doesnt express it. “i dont like you” “[eyeroll] and???? im still eating ur leftovers”

ed actually does kick russel tringham in the head for a skit for one of lings vlogs. ed and russel are best friends even if russel genuinely did try to steal eds identity at some point and may or may not have put ed in debt for a few months

roy: 

hes one of ed’s professors much to eds dismay since roy is, technically, his adoptive father.

he probably argues with ed a lot in the middle of lectures (”hey dumbass thats not how it works” “im literally teaching you what you’re majoring in.” “yeah and im telling you that you’re wrong.”)

he’s like 35 in this au and technically a millennial. ed’s 21.

roy has an instagram and its literally just pictures of hughes and elicia and nina and ed and al

roy and hughes are most definitely a foster family and am i pulling this from my own fic yes i am can you stop me no you cant

hughes:

HES FINE. HES ALIVE.

all of the gen z kids in this au think hes awful bc of all the dad jokes and slightly outdated humor. hes not awful. hes perfect. hes doing his best.

he loves all four of his children.

he and gracia are best friends even if their marriage didnt work out for unknown reasons. they along with roy are GOOD PARENTS to elicia. you can pry this from my cold dead hands. canon can suck my chode.

lust:

shes not like greed she doesnt try to be mysterious. shes probably a beauty guru (SolarisCosmetics) and does a lot of tutorials like “Low Commitment Goth Makeup Tutorial”

shes unintentionally mysterious because for her first like 50 videos or so theres no commentary its just subtitles

her first video with commentary is like “i... apologize. i was not intending to be so... mysterious.” and shes actually very sweet and nice and you can fight me on this ok

greed is her adoptive brother and greed makes her bleep out his name and blur her mouth whenever she calls him by his name bc he likes to lurk in the background of her videos because hes an asshole

winry:

shes a mechanic in this au and i mean shes a mechanic in canon but she prob specializes in like. idk. cars. this is a headcanon list im not looking up specifics of mechanics point is she can rebuild an engine in an afternoon and everyone in this au is in love with her

BIG LESBIAN

she probably tries getting ed to go on double dates (him and ling with her and lan fan) but every single time he shoots her down and its to the point shes almost convinced that hes not even dating ling in the first place

greed is probably her biggest client. no one knows how he does it but his car is constantly breaking and winry is the only mechanic in his general vicinity who knows how to do her job worth a shit and also her repair shop has cool music and he probably finds excuses just to chill for the music

“[greed] please. if your fat ass is going to be taking up counter space AT LEAST help clean up” “excuse you my ass is FIRM AND PERKY.”

its probably a joke among ed’s following that winry DOES NOT put up with his shit and when winry gets asked out it shes just like “hes an asshole why the fuck do you think im gonna let him walk around all half cocked like that”

riza:

i like to think shes in the military in this au too. not like military military but maybe air force idk. imagine pilot riza. wow.

shes not on active duty or w/e but you KNOW shes in a foreign country going to college paid for by the government.

everyone in this au is at least bi and riza is no exception. she is dating olivier armstrong. they are in love u can pry this from my cold dead hands you fucking gremlins

edward is probably platonically in love with her. like when he gets to see her (which isnt often) he has to occasionally stop, put a hand on her shoulder, do the ‘boi’ hand (idk how else to describe it) and say, “i love you dont ever change” “thank you, edward.” “[hug]”

envy: 

a troll. like you know those troll blogs that are pretending to be otherkin or some really obscure gender w neopronouns (u do u but we all kno theres trolls). envy has one of those blogs.

envy is actually nonbinary irl but theyre very critical of “special snowflakes” (again u do u these headcanons dont necessarily reflect my opinions and as long as u aint hurting no one i support u) and they probably cyberbully ppl

envy is garbage in this fic

“god i hate you” “actually eat my ass, greed”

see greed is the opposite of ed w riza. he looks at envy and occasionally has to say “i fucking hate you”

theyre secrety buds but like... they annoy the shit out of each other. u kno they do.

ENVY STARTS A LOT OF DISCOURSE. THEY PROBABLY START A LOT OF HOMESTUCK DISCOURSE. GOD. here i am in 2018 writing about envy starting fucking homestuck discourse. its probably like davekat discourse too tbh

i know im forgetting alphonse, may/mei (i spell it mei), and lan fan but its like 4:19 am 

please send me asks if u have any feedback. or reply to this post. its up to u. i trust u to make the right decision. (there is no reight decision and honestly i need to go to bed)

[dreadwhoop]

Super Torment Mode Diary - Day 13-15 Recap

Day 13 (Jan 7th)

NOTE - A Golbat Mean Looked me as I was in the Thrifty Supermarket. Since this means I am forced to KO it now the area is considered BANNED until Kahuna is beaten (Like the Self-Destruct Clause). NOTE - I was looking at Isle Evelup as a potential break on my ruleset so...and thus did not develop it. Obviously now I know what it is you can. Route 16 - Slowpoke...x2...x3 ok Zygarde has been reformed! NOTE - Remember - Zygarde is allowed to be used. Just keep in mind if it ends up being your highest levelled Pokemon when you fight a Kahuna it gets instantly boxed and if KO'd boxed too so all the rules still apply. As for going back to reform it into the 50% only if you have collected 50/100 Cells/Cores and can free roam. Onto ULA'ULA MEADOW. Petilil...Oricorio...x2...Pet...

###BREAK###

!!!DEFEATED 33 TIMES!!!

Flailed by a Koala at the end of a long battle I am a bad person. LAKE OF THE SUNNE. Nothing here...for now...

ROUTE 17 - Fearow...Raticate...Ariados...Raticate ok

!!!DEFEATED 34 TIMES!!!

Raticate Beats me - just like last time with my Ibid.

!!!DEFEATED 35 TIMES!!!

Gyarados just didn't have enough punch after avenging Ibid. Note - A Ariados used Spider Web to prevent an escape. I almost killed it but then it killed my Pokemon so I could run away. In other words this would be technically like Self-Destruct and the like so...yeah avoid brush now until Kahuna is beaten. Now at PO TOWN. I turned down Team Skull's offer to heal my team because I'm so much better. Oh wait...

!!!DEFEATED 36 TIMES!!!

Golbat and Raticate sigh. I hate Team Skull sometimes.

!!!DEFEATED 37 TIMES!!!

Team was ASS. I'm being destroyed so hard.

##BREAK###

!!!DEFEATED 38 TIMES!!!

Great way to start this session. Finally stumbled my way into the SHADY HOUSE.

NOTE - Finding the Smoke Ball may in fact circumvent my rules about fleeing from Self-Destruct/Web users since you are able to do this prior to them applying. Natures which force you to stay...if they do...have to continue being ruled as strictly unable to look on routes.

!!!DEFEATED 39 TIMES!!!

Raticates are strong.

!!!DEFEATED 40 TIMES!!!

Guzma finished me off so there's this.

Day 14 (Jan 8th)

Oh apparently my Snowy Sandshrew only evolves via an Ice Stone. Let's do it! COOL! Time to rematch. Got Guzma down this time.

NOTE - Gladion wishes for us to visit a new island. This is NOT a Kahuna battle so it doesn't count as allowing yourself to roam the isles. NOTE - The Trainer Passport Stamps should indicate such. OH NEVERMIND OFFICER NANU IS THE KAHUNA! LET'S DO THIS!

!!!DEFEATED 41 TIMES!!!

Really bad matchups vs Sableye and company. Ground...Dark...Ghost... Thus begins my second wall in this run. Don't take it too seriously but I get bodied a lot here!

###BREAK###

!!!DEFEATED 42 TIMES!!!

Yeah team too low for a Level 38...

!!!DEFEATED 43 TIMES!!!

A level 39 Persian eh...well ok. 2/3 Pokemon down but yeah still gotta win. Also Persian used its Z-Power.

!!!DEFEATED 44 TIMES!!!

Too low-level

!!!DEFEATED 45 TIMES!!!

Tentacool held on like a legend but too low level again. You know what? Since the levels are so high if I don't have a single pokemon above 30 on my team rotation just take the L and try again. So this whole team I have now? A sacrifice team. Yeah it's come to the point I don't even care to nurture them with refresh. Very demoralised.

!!!DEFEATED 46 TIMES!!! NEXT! I'm kinda losing the will to continue this.

!!!DEFEATED 47 TIMES!!! NEXT!

!!!DEFEATED 48 TIMES!!! Jeez...

!!!DEFEATED 49 TIMES!!!

To be fair Mudbray really made work on getting 2/3 down but Persian swallowed it with the Black Hole Eclipse move. NOTE - Mudbray evolved after battle. Got Mudsdale! Too bad I had to Blackout and thus box it. If I lose once more this will be 10 Times, a new record, and I am going to impose a new Rule to denote such an accomplishment.

!!!DEFEATED 50 TIMES!!! Okay Nanu new rule.

NOTE - A New Rule - After 10 losses in a row to a single trainer (in this case Nanu) you can create a CUSTOM TEAM for this one-off situation. Because of the nature of this rule you cannot shuffle the queue in your box but you can get your highest Pokemon out. Any are allowed. No healing of course and the other rules apply just assume you rotated into your ideal team.

Now once you have defeated your opponent box them all as before and then grab the ones next in the queue. Understand? Good.

Oh yeah do note where the Pokemon were before you take them out the BOX! Here's the constructed team I had - sorry for not putting levels down but in general they were low to mid 30s. Haunter I believe was about 28 and thus lowest. Highest I think was either Misdreavus or Decuideye around 35 or 36. Klefki - 2nd row, 5th in, Box 3 Zygarde - 5th row, 1st in, Box 3 Absol - 3rd row, 6th in, Box 2 Misdreavus - 4th row, 2nd in, Box 1 Haunter - 4th row, 3rd in, Box 1 Decuideye - He's LAST in the queue when this is over.

Oh yeah one more thing - You can repeat as many times until you win. Because fuck it.

!!!DEFEATED 51 TIMES!!! I can't even win with a constructed team oh no. Try again.

Oh he heals everything because it's fair. FINALLY.

NOTE - Now I've done the Ula'Ula Trial I can visit the 3 islands I have already seen (Aether Foundation doesn't count you can go back on the boat to return just note when you return back to Aether Paradise you can't roam again until you defeat the next Kahuna). In any event this is great! More Pokemon to hunt and with a Smoke Ball the possibilities are much greater. Onwards!

###BREAK###

I did another Pokemon Checklist and from it grabbed the following: Sandygast, Elekid, and Mimikyu. Passed on Barboach and Sableye since they seem to be on the last island anyways. I also used Sharpedo to break rocks to places I couldn't access earlier. Also picked up an Archen from buying the other fossil.

###BREAK###

After all this remember Sharpedo can break those rocks to get to the island. Also don't forget to go to them Cafes for Battle and the Hano Grand Resort area just to see if anything else has opened up! NOTE - I'm just 1 away from 50% on my Zygarde Cube. Can I find a 50th? Yes - I found a 50th on Route 1 I missed previously. TIME TO UPGRADE ZYGARDE! Of course I'll have to wait until his rotation returns to me.

AETHER PARADISE

Gonna rare candy to get Electrabuzz. Decided to bite the bullet and also Water Stone for a Starmie. I just realised 5 of my 6 pokemon are Gen 1 right now!

!!!DEFEATED 52 TIMES!!!

Lol a Primeape did me in of all things. It's cause Starmie just couldn't take the hit. OH WELL. Lady at the counter after defeating Faba (South of him) heals so no talking to her anymore!

!!!DEFEATED 53 TIMES!!!

Completely bodied and walled by a Muk. What a great day I had. Here's my mental state visualized below.

Day 15 (Jan 9th)

!!!DEFEATED 54 TIMES!!!

Sweeped 1HKO by the Muk. Team was too weak. NEXT! Cool the 3rd Scientist has a Porygon2. It has...Signal Beam...Recover...Recycle... NOTE - Because the Aether Foundation has a PC you can switch Pokemon out then if you have KO'd Pokemon AFTER the initial raid (so past the warehouse section) then you have to swap asap. TORMENT. I PPMaxed Confuse Ray. NOTE - As I've mentioned countless times - if one has their Pokemon healed before you can react to going to a PC then it's allowed to carry on with them!

###BREAK###

Time to meet my 3rd wall in this playthrough who I've heard casuses problems even for people playing normally.

!!!DEFEATED 55 TIMES!!! Guzma's Goliospod's Razor Shell is so fucking potent.

!!!DEFEATED 56 TIMES!!! I had no chance...Emergency Exit into Fell Stinger/Shadow Sneak/Sucker Punch Ariados LOL

!!!DEFEATED 57 TIMES!!! Now I have a sac team. Sigh.

!!!DEFEATED 58 TIMES!!!

NOTE - If I lose one more time I may knock the Rule from 10 losses in a row down to 5. I may revise the strategy so it's like so: Island 1 - Up to 10 Times Island 2 - Up to 10 Times Island 3 - Up to 5 Times Island 4 - Up to 5 Times Final Challenge (Indigo Plateau) - Assign your Team WHAT THE HELL FIRST IMPRESSION MOVE??!?! Yep ran into this at long last. What a defeat.

!!!DEFEATED 59 TIMES!!! Okay Guzma CUSTOM TEAM TIME:

Absol - LAST IN THE QUEUE Klefki - Row 4, 2nd in, BOX 1 Decidueye - Row 3, 2nd in, BOX 2 Misdreavus - Row 3, 1st in, BOX 3 Torkoal - Row 3, 4th in, BOX 3 Haunter - Row 2, 3rd in, BOX 3

!!!DEFEATED 60 TIMES!!!

I fucking hate this mode. Got to the last pokemon but Pinsir took me down.

!!!DEFEATED 61 TIMES!!! I hate this game.

Finally beat Guzma. Now I got to box this entire team. Here I find out Lillie and Gladion are NOT the same person. Now it's time to face This is going to be so funny being bodied now. I have no chance against Lusamine.

!!!DEFEATED 62 TIMES!!!

Lusamine obviously beat me but it's not a Blackout so let's carry on shall we? LOL. Let's get off this Aether Place nightmare and onto somewhere else. Aether Paradise accounted for how many losses? 11? Ula'ula was a hard island to surmount at the end there.

On PONI ISLAND now. At SEAFOLK VILLAGE. The last Island. I must admit - I'm seriously worn from all this. But I will carry on. I just got an Aerodactyl for some reason. Fished up a Wailmer! Got it! Magikarp...x2...x3 k (Shame I never found the Anchor Pokemon. Never knew of it until post-game). Pokemon Centre here has some GREAT TMs. Draco Meteor can be taught at the Pokemon Centre here long as you meet the right conditions. Onwards to PONI WILDS. Pelipper...Gastrodon...x2...Granbull...x2...Pelipper. NOTE - So this is the first time I've seen an Evolution to catch but not the preform. Gastrodon and Granbull are totally ALLOWED to catch but this is because they are exceptional cases. I ran before but explain below I catch them later.

###BREAK###

NOTE - After giving it some thoughts...here's the rule of capturing Evolved Pokemon. If there's no way to get their younger forms other than to breed the older forms then you can get the older forms first provided you do check this is the case. So - Gastrodon and Granbull can join! Exeggute! - I got it! I instantly evolved it to Dragon Exeggutor.

!!!DEFEATED 63 TIMES!!! Ace Trainer with a Sharpedo and a Skarmory.

!!!DEFEATED 64 TIMES!!! Rubbish team.

!!!DEFEATED 65 TIMES!!! Rubbish team.

Got him! Thanks Klefki. Had to rotate out for sacrifices and got a little lucky but a win is a win.

###BREAK###

!!!DEFEATED 66 TIMES!!!

Oh gutted - Klefki got robbed from a crit hitting it and a miss in response.

!!!DEFEATED 67 TIMES!!!

Yeah well the Boss Trainer of this route did me in after weakened by the last trainer. Guess who is back...Zygarde!

!!!DEFEATED 68 TIMES!!!

Ok I didn't do so well there. Zygarde couldn't really hit the Flying-Types. Bad match-up.

!!!DEFEATED 69 TIMES!!! Well I got 1 down :D

Meh I'll just evolve Shelder so it's a Ice Type too as Cloyster.

!!!DEFEATED 70 TIMES!!! Got 1.

I end once again in high-spirits.

At least I'm not playing Omikron.

###BREAK###